Weight Loss Advertising

Love:  The new Jenny Craig advertising.

Hate:  The new LA Weight Loss advertising.

Jenny Craig’s new commercials feature celebrities, but thats not what makes them great.  These women, Queen Latifah and Valerie (even though I’m not quite sure who she is, but I know my mom knows), proudly state that they are a size healthier, or a size surfer.  Not size 6 or 8 or whatever it is that society has decided to to focus on.  And good for them.  That is incredibly positive advertising and I hope that it works out well for the company.

But LA weight loss centers commercials are disgusting.  Ok, that might be a little harsh, but if you’ve seen the commercials you would know.   The commercial features clip after clip of very overweight women stating that they’re ready to lose weight.  And that one woman lost 108 pounds!  Good for her!  But don’t forget that RESULTS NOT TYPICAL.  And all they did was pay several overweight woman to act sad and depressed because their weight was ruining their life.  That doesn’t send the right message.  In fact that sends the wrong message.  These women shouldn’t be focused on losing 108 pounds and looking great, they need to be focused on getting healthy. 

Like a size healthier, thank you very much Jenny Craig.

Geese!

Geese are hilarious.  I love them.  Sure they poop all over the place and their honking is enough to make you want to shoot them, but they are comedians in their own way.

Let’s take their nesting as an example.  Apparently, and don’t quote me on this, but APPARENTLY geese are monogamous.  That means they stick together for life.  How cute is that?!  There are only a few other species of animals or mammals or whatever you want to call them who do that.  Ok so, spring comes around, and these geese get together, do their thing, in the water, and then the female goose lays her eggs in a nest.  And the male goose protects this nest with his life.  If you try and go anywhere near that nest, that papa goose hisses at you.  Like crazy!  It’s actually really funny.  He sticks his tongue out and puffs himself up to look like a big guy.  And he will chase you and bite you if you get too close.  They even honk and hiss at cars.  Good man, eh?

Ok, geese also like to take their sweet ass time walking anywhere.  Especially across the street.  I don’t think there is much you can do to hurry them up.  I’ve seen serious traffic back-ups due to two geese just slowly waddling across a major street.  And that’s not even the bad part!   Once the eggs hatch and the goslings are out and about, one parent goose begins the parade, the goslings are the parade, and the second parent backs it up.  A line of slow waddling geese.  Cute and funny.

But probably the funniest goose act is fighting.  Outrageous.  They even fight mid-air.  They peck and bite and flap their wings and chase each other around, viciously attacking each other.  I guess adolescant males do the same thing.  You know, act like goofs to impress the ladies?  Puff up their chests and push each other around?  Yeah, just like geese.  Brilliant.

Laundry

Ah laundry.  An annoying necessity.  Especially when you have to hit up the local laundromat.

Doing laundry where thousands…no, hundreds of thousands of people have done theirs before you grosses me out.  I can’t think about it or else I won’t be able to put on my clothes tomorrow. 

Anyways, I’m doing my laundry today, and the dryer beeps, so I pack up my stuff and go to grab the stuff out of the dryer.  I put all my stuff down on the counter behind the washers, and notice that the big table WHICH IS MEANT FOR FOLDING CLOTHES ON is covered in other peoples’ stuff.  Purses, quarters, dryer sheets, gift bags, magazines, newspaper, winter coats, etc.  Which of course pissed me right off.  I decide that if these people think its alright to be that inconsiderate, then there shouldn’t be a problem if I just push some of their stuff out of the way, I mean, I needed enough room to fold my stuff.  I wasn’t going to pull my clothes out of the dryer and walk 20 feet to the next table.  So I get enough space on my table to fold one shirt at a time, which is enough space, I guess.  Some lady comes up and pushes her quarters out of the way.  She probably thought I was rude, but, I thought she was rude so we’re even.

Anyways, I’m almost done pulling out each shirt from the dryer and folding it, when the now very embarassed woman says ”Um…is that yours?”  I turn to look, and there, in the middle of the floor, is one of my ‘unmentionables’.  Let’s just say it was a bit…racy.  I grab it up off the floor (grosssss!) turn to her, and with a very straight face, said thank you.  She looked mortified.  I almost laughed out loud.  No big deal, right?

Spring Pet Peeves

So, spring has sprung, finally.  I’ve been waiting for it for a long time.  And the weather has been amazing lately.  But a few things come with spring that make me want to pull my hair out.

Pet Peeve #1:  It is NOT shorts weather out.  Put your pants on people.  It hasn’t hit 20 degrees yet.  Yes, yes, the past few days have been unbelievable, but still, its not shorts weather.  Lets skip forward about half a year.  After its stopped being hot everyday…if the temperatures were what they are now, people would be bundling up, complaining about the cold, wearing long pants and jackets.  So, put your frigging pants back on!  Dammit.  AND if you feel the need to wear shorts, you are NOT ALLOWED TO WEAR A WINTER JACKET WITH THEM.  THAT DEFEATS THE PURPOSE.  Hello?  What is running through these people’s heads when they decide to leave the house?  If you need to wear a headband to keep your ears warm, you should not be wearing shorts.  And also…there is still snow on the ground.  Tonnes of it.  Put the sandals away until there is nothing left. 

Pet Peeve #2:  The snow is not your personal garbage can.  Yes, it is littering if you throw your trash in the snow and think no one will notice it.  Because when spring comes, and that snow melts, GUESS WHAT!!!  There’s your garbage.  Don’t litter.  You don’t do it when there’s no snow, so don’t do it when there is snow. 

On a random note, has anyone been watching American Idol?  David Cook just butchered Innocent by Our Lady Peace: 

Dear David, 
    Only Raine Maida can sing like Raine Maida, you totally ruined it.  You are so lucky most Americans don’t know who Our Lady Peace is. 
Sincerely,
Batman

I miss you

Dear blogging world,

I miss you, but I’m very busy right now.

 I’ll come back later I promise.