Geese!

Geese are hilarious.  I love them.  Sure they poop all over the place and their honking is enough to make you want to shoot them, but they are comedians in their own way.

Let’s take their nesting as an example.  Apparently, and don’t quote me on this, but APPARENTLY geese are monogamous.  That means they stick together for life.  How cute is that?!  There are only a few other species of animals or mammals or whatever you want to call them who do that.  Ok so, spring comes around, and these geese get together, do their thing, in the water, and then the female goose lays her eggs in a nest.  And the male goose protects this nest with his life.  If you try and go anywhere near that nest, that papa goose hisses at you.  Like crazy!  It’s actually really funny.  He sticks his tongue out and puffs himself up to look like a big guy.  And he will chase you and bite you if you get too close.  They even honk and hiss at cars.  Good man, eh?

Ok, geese also like to take their sweet ass time walking anywhere.  Especially across the street.  I don’t think there is much you can do to hurry them up.  I’ve seen serious traffic back-ups due to two geese just slowly waddling across a major street.  And that’s not even the bad part!   Once the eggs hatch and the goslings are out and about, one parent goose begins the parade, the goslings are the parade, and the second parent backs it up.  A line of slow waddling geese.  Cute and funny.

But probably the funniest goose act is fighting.  Outrageous.  They even fight mid-air.  They peck and bite and flap their wings and chase each other around, viciously attacking each other.  I guess adolescant males do the same thing.  You know, act like goofs to impress the ladies?  Puff up their chests and push each other around?  Yeah, just like geese.  Brilliant.